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Listening to: Amerie (Nothing Like Loving You)
I decided if I truly wanted to take this journey seriously, that I needed to fulfill my promise of being transparent.
So last week I wrote my first blog post about acknowledging the need to define who we are after WE no longer fit our plans.
You see at the graceful age of 37, I realized that I no longer fit the blueprint that I designed for myself. I suffered heartache after heartache, and secretly began to question everything that I did. I slowly began to lose faith in my ability to make reasonable decisions for myself. I found myself at a crossroad. I could elect to go down yet another rabbit hole, and change my name to Alice OR I could go down a new unfamiliar road. I have undoubtedly elected to travel the unknown road. WHY???? Because I am worth it.
You may ask how do you know that you are worth it? I mean if you were worth it how did you find yourself in this situation? You can say that I ignored the signs. I am worth more than waking up day after day with a feeling of emptiness. I am worth having the ability to be myself and feel appreciated. I am worth having the opportunity to pursue my happiness, and live unapologetically.
The first step in this process was to capture the Good, Bad, and Ugly about myself. I decided to complete a soul searching exercise. I asked myself the simple question, “Who Am I?” EASY RIGHT…. NOT REALLY. I recorded my responses on a sheet of notebook paper. Here are a few of my answers:
Who Am I
I am a woman with A LOT of love inside that I take pride in sharing with people.
I am a woman that loves God.
I am a recovering Workaholic.
I am totally out of sync when it comes to relationships.
I am determined.
I am sensitive/emotional.
I am a total mess at times.
And the list went on and on. At the conclusion of this exercise, I sat back and read over my answers, and before I knew it I began to cry. I have never taken a moment to really look within myself and figure out what I was made of. After every accomplishment, I failed to take a moment to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I have just jumped from one situation to the next without hesitation.
A very good friend of mine (Mr. John Drew) told me several years ago that I needed to smell the rose while they are here.
So if you only take 2 things away from this blog today:
- Clearly define and gain an understanding of who you are.
- Celebrate who you are, right where you are. Take a moment to smell the roses.
Until we converse again,
Remember to Live, Laugh, & Love